ok so i feel bad about this but anyone else feel this way?

this is mainly a post for c-section mommies... most people know, if youve read my blog i had a hard, scary labor which ended in an emergency c-section. i dont in any way hate my son for being born via c-section and i know this is a little dumb feeling this way when it was 7 months ago and i should be over it but...i kinda hate myself...like, i wasnt perfect when i was pregnant, i skipped plenty prenatal vitamins, i missed 2 doctors appointments i never reschedualded, i only gained 12 pounds which is lower than the recommended amount of weight to gain for patients many years ago when some doctors only thought 15 pounds was an ideal weight gain, i was way active at the end of my pregnancy instead of taking it easy...i just feel like its my fault for having a labor like i did...i have never had a problem with the way i look...and now with my scar...i feel so down and just generally not happy :( has any c-section mommys had feelings like this? or is it really just me?