i needed to blog...

this is crazy, im hanging with someone ive never thought id be hanging out with :) and im actually pretty happy with it...what sukks is going through hard memories and reliving the past to go over and over and try to make these things work and ...i think its killing me to hear things like this and i feel like breaking down but i cant...in my world its not allowed..., i hate myself for believing lies and letting stuff get in the way of me actually seeing the real you...i want so bad to be done but i dont know what else i can do...i want you to be apart of his life but you just have this thing in your mind that prohibits you from growing up and caring...im at a point where im so tired of all the bullshit this is bringing on my life and i just...something in me tells me no and something tells me go...question is...which road do i take?

To shine upon and give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to direct and guide our feet in a straight line into the way of peace. Luke 1: 79

But when He, the Spirit of Truth (the Truth-giving Spirit) comes, He will guide you into all the Truth (the whole, full Truth). For He will not speak His own message [on His own authority]; but He will tell whatever He hears [from the Father; He will give the message that has been given to Him], and He will announce and declare to you the things that are to come [that will happen in the future]. John 16: 13

A man's mind plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps and makes them sure. Proverbs 16: 9