Are you nursing a baby over 12 months old and
feeling that you have to justify why you are still breastfeeding a child
who can walk and talk? Do you feel under pressure to wean your child
from the breast? Are you questioning your own reasons for continuing to
breastfeed? How can you handle criticism of your parenting choices?
Choosing to do things differently from other mothers who initiate weaning earlier demands courage, self-assurance, and a good support system. Early weaning is the norm in countries where breastfeeding is regarded mainly as a source of nutrition. Many people are uncomfortable seeing mothers breastfeeding children because they regard breasts as sexual objects, and frown upon nursing in public. If you are a breastfeeding mother of a toddler get support wherever you can find it.
If you are encountering criticism from relatives or friends, their concerns may likely stem from their own parenting experiences or lack of knowledge about breastfeeding. Try not to feel attacked; these are people who care about you. Listen to what they have to say and acknowledge their concerns. Remember you are under no obligation to make them change their mind. Let them know that you have given the subject much thought but express your feelings about wanting what is best for your child positively rather than by attacking theirs.
Handling Criticism for Continuing to Breastfeed
If someone criticizes you for continuing to breastfeed your toddler consider:
Acknowledging in a noncommittal fashion what the person is saying, for example, “Thank you. I’ll remember that.”
Walking away or changing the subject.
Sharing information by referring to books or articles on extended nursing.
Making a joke about the situation, not about the other person.
Empathising to demonstrate that you understand how the other person is feeling.
Advantages for Mother Continuing to Breastfeed
Breastfeeding is frequently blamed if a mother is stressed or tired, yet there are many benefits to continuing to breastfeed, including:
Relaxing effects. Breastfeeding suppresses the nervous system’s hormonal response to stress helping you to calm down.
A few guaranteed moments to rest each day. You can count on breastfeeding to provide a few opportunities to put your feet up and hug your little one.
Decreased risk of disease. There is convincing evidence that breastfeeding protects against disease including the risk of breast cancer and osteoporosis.
Lactational Amenorrhea. The natural infertility experienced while breastfeeding. Some women going two years or longer without menstruating and its physical and emotional issues.
Advantages for Toddlers Continuing to Breastfeed
Your milk maintains its nutritional value and confers emotional benefits too.
Immune system. It takes between two and six years for a child’s immune system to fully mature. Human milk continues to complement and boost the immune system for as long as it is offered, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics "Policy Statement on Breastfeeding and the Use of Human Milk" Pediatrics 1997; 100(6): 1035-39.
Oral development. Breastfeeding provides a natural outlet for non-nutritive sucking that promotes proper oral development, which has been found to improve speech, according to Davis, D. et al. "Infant Feeding Practices and occlusal outcomes a longitudinal study"J Can Dent Assoc 1991; 57(7):593-594.
Cognitive development. Breastfeeding helps your child reach his full potential.
Comfort. Don’t underestimate the importance of loving touch. You can’t spoil a child by giving him affection.
Self-Esteem. Responsive mothering is an expression of trust that helps your child feel good about himself.
Children all outgrow the need to breastfeed. It’s normal and healthy for toddlers to breastfeed but all mothers and babies are different and there is no one correct age to wean. Be clear about what you want and what works for your family. Remember this is your child and your decision.
